Art and Justice (It's Podcastic!)

The last couple days have been a bit hard on my body. I’ve felt sick, but I’m not sure if I’m actually sick. I’ve been really tired, and slightly achey, but it’s nothing that totally knocks me out. So, life had felt kind of zombie-ish, harkening back to Halloween.

I’ve thought that this might be my body reacting to something in my life. Maybe it’s being too busy, or maybe my mind is just tired from thinking too much about things. In any case, I have done less, slept more, and cancelled on some activities for just sitting, sleeping, or reading. I went to the library and I checked out some good stuff. I’ll write (or maybe pod) about some of those things I’ve been reading/watching later.

I’ve been thinking about my life lately, in regards to art making and pursuing justice for the poor. For about 5 years (since I’ve graduated from college at UCSD) I’ve been pursuing this idea of vocation of art, and justice. I think everything I’ve done or attempted has pointed back to one of those two things. It’s mostly been one or the other. Art through school, mural projects within communities, and work (screen printing). Justice through different programs (such as Mission Year, Word Made Flesh, and Americorps) and work (Tutoring Program at New Hope Covenant Church). Sometimes the two would come together, but that usually wasn’t the norm. I’ve felt that the two have usually opposed each other: when I spend time to do grow as an artist, other things slow down, and when I commit more to the neighborhood or for justice work, I don’t have time or energy to grow as an artist.

I remember talking to Yucan about this when I was graduating from college. We were at this barbeque for departing seniors, and we were talking pretty intensely about what was to come for me, especially in regards to my passions. I wondered if the two would intersect: Art and Justice, and if I would find a road (or roads) that would converge into something life-giving (purposeful), life-sustaining (making enough money), and in the end, creatively interesting. He was excited for me. I was too.

Year 5 has come and past and I have to be greatful for all that I’ve had my hands in. It really has been a lot! Still, it’s hard to have longings for things to form into something that’s not so scattered. I wonder if art-making is just a glorified hobby, or if it can really turn into a supportive, sustainable job. I wonder if pursuing art means that I turn my back to the poor. I wonder if I should just choose one for a while, hoping that they will lead back together. It’s deep within me to be creative. It’s deep within me to be in community. It’s deep within me to be honest about equity and justice wherever I am.

In any case, this is my first attempt at some sort of podcasting. I know, it’s kind of nerdy, but I think it’s kind of a neat way to express my voice. Just hit the button and it will play. Let me know what you think about this short ditty, and your own vocational journey.

Do you like your job/vocation? Is it: Life-giving? Life-sustaining? Creatively interesting?

Humble Beginnings

I’ve had a couple good thoughts lately, but unfortunately I’m a bit tired to work through all of them. My friend Alyssa’s emailed me about diversity and my own identity as an Asian American. (That’s a life’s journey) I’ve been thinking a bit more about Sierra Leone and what my struggle is with being back here in the USA. I’ve spent time with people that are a bit more “fundamentally” Christian than I feel that I am, but I’m realizing that we define our own rights and wrongs and we stick really hard to them. As much as judgement can be cast from right-to-left or left-to-right, we really seem to lose the sense of humanity amidst propositions, war, elections, representation, and terror. I run in a pretty liberal circle, and I’ve been noticing that I have adopted a sense of entitlement. I’m so quick to judge other people, and it becomes more about an exercise of right and wrong than something about reconciliation, teaching, humility, repentance, and change.

We need to develop our sense of compassion. We need to develop our sense of a spiritual reality. We need to develop our own humanness. (I’m not even sure if that’s a word) We need to develop a better perspective on life: Children are precious, so are teenagers, as with young adults, older adults, wandering adults in their 20’s (like me) and homeless people. I know that I need all of these things to grow within me.

I look at people and I try to imagine them as children.

I look at them and I erase the wrinkles, put on big dorky glasses, and a full head of hair. I add big smiles, temper tantrums, and car seats. I think about their first day of high school, or first grade, or their first day out of the womb. I imagine them with their parents, or their neighborhood friends, or walking to school.

This imagination helps me to see people as people again. It helps me to see my enemies as potential friends. It helps me to see the same homeless man on the corner as a regular person. It helps me to not be nervous around my way-up-there boss. I’m not sure how people have come to be who they are, or how people have come to do what they do, or care about what they care about. I am sure that we’ve all come from humble beginnings.

Naked. Needy. New.