I’m trying to write more.  So chime in if ya feel me on some of my thoughts.

I usually write in in response to some sort of revelation during the day, or something that I’ve been mulling about for a long time.  I think that puts a lot of pressure on me to write something really interesting and I end up just letting this thing rot.  So, I’m gonna try to write, a bit less edited and composed and little bit more open and unprocessed.  No promises, less pressure.  

Sounds like a great campaign slogan.

I think I’ve talked about this before, but I’ve been in a pretty but rut.  It started in summer, and it’s kind of followed me through Fall, and hopefully I can battle the Rut and the Darkness of Winter all at once.  The Rut started when I stopped taking classes.  I think I was so burned out after a year of taking art classes, that I just didn’t want to do anything over summer.  So that’s kind of what I did.  I had big plans but not much production.  I can’t even remember what I really did then.  I should have taken the one painting class that I meant to take, but I didn’t.

So I didn’t do much, and I think that really made me lazy.  I was trying to recharge, but I don’t think that was the best approach.  As an artist, I need to keep working, doing stuff all the time, because it’s through process that I grow.  

I was eager for fall to start, and I put it in to take 4 classes.  I guess I just really wanted to make it really happen.  I’ve lasted about 2/3 of the semester at this breakneck speed, but a couple weeks ago, I just shut down.  I can detail out my schedule and the work that I’ve had to do ( including work, church stuff, and my own stuff), but it’s been kind of crazy.  Let’s just say my engine broke down, and that was another lesson for me to remember:  ambition is important but so is pacing and perspective.  I’ve stopped going to one class ( figure drawing ), and that’s been helpful.  No more 9am to 9pm wednesdays.

The Rut’s all about good ideas.  When I have great ideas, and I can execute them and work through a creative process, it’s really great.  When I don’t have any ideas, the Rut wins.  A couple weeks ago, I just felt like I couldn’t come up with anything really that interesting or satisfying to work on.  I’ve been trying really hard to steer away from work that looks like class assignments, or that doesn’t have that much depth.  It’s hard because I’ve got a bunch of scattered pieces that show growth in skill, but what I really want is a body of work, and comprehensive way of saying:  I am artist, this is what I do, this is what I’m trying to say, I am relevant.

And, I think that’s basically what I’m trying to do.  I’m working on these drawings of trash that I find, and I’m also working hard on these screenprinted drawings that document, record and re-appropriate places that I frequent in Oakland.  I’m also working on these vases that are thrown, then attached.  The end up looking very organic, with lots of barnacle like forms on them.

And last but not least, I think my friend Chris speaks well about his feelings from the election.  My feelings are similar, but I’m the person (of color) who’s not white or black that finds a lot of hope in the next days.  More on that soon.

And to close out, one of my young students ( on tuesday ) said:  ”We also voted in class today, and I voted for Barack Obama.”