Crush Uncurl

There’s a certain feeling that comes when you say goodbye to someone for possibly the last time.

It is full of anticipation, appreciation, and care. It is full because it recognizes what was there: time spent together, times complaining together, and time, which builds a sense of connection, care, and experience.

I said goodbye to my coworker today, and it was awesome. I knew her for only a short time, but in that time, I felt like I was able be kind again at work. Something that’s hard in the machine-like nature of production. It was awesome to learn that she is a photographer, and to have someone else to talk shop together. It was nice to talk to someone who is free enough to take risks, something I’ve pushed deep, deep, deep into my own pockets. My fingers started to pick at the risky lint. Maybe I could uncurl the balls and they’d be able to float away into the air. I’d listen to her talk about what she wanted to do and sometimes she said “we”. I thought to myself: Maybe these lint balls need to bloom. I liked being the included “we” and maybe I could begin to loosen up what’s in my pockets.

I’m going to miss her.

One of the special things we can do together is to do things together. It seems so simple, but it means so much to be able to come back to a friend and say: “Remember when”.

“Remember when” means that I was not alone then, and I am not alone now, when I think about my life.